I am here...

Hollowed spirit/
empty being/
there is no life I am seeking/
I find comfort in the darkness/
fear this is what they have taught us/
but I sense a bliss/
no pain or hurt/
just empty spirit/
blades start to look like welcome mats/
38 looks like a good number/
and high rises look like an opportunity to fly for 3 seconds before my demise/
and I love to hear people say you have so much to live for/
all lies/
you want me to stay here where love is wrong and no one is trying to be right/
you want me to stay here where the strong perish and the weak prevail/
you want me to stay here where being black means living in a place that is the neighbor of hell/
you want me to stay here/
where being a thug has more prestige than being a father with a degree/
you want me to stay here where children are killed by the same women that birthed them/
women who are loved by the same men that hurt them/
you want me to stay here where the my blood from previous times cries out to me for justice and I have none to bring/
you want me to stay here/where every tear that I shed goes unnoticed/
where this pain is so deep I can't focus/
you want me to stay here/where I look at my children's face and can no longer give them the promise of a better day/
you want me to stay here/
you want me to stay here/
because every morning you give me a sunrise freely/
and you have answered me every time I have fallen on my knees/
you want me to stay here cause you have work for me to do/
and this pain you expect me to work through/
I am so tired of crying/
so tired of this feeling of desiring dying/
so I tell you what/
if tomorrow I wake up and see a sunrise/
I promise to try/
cause right now/
you are the only person that has yet to lie/
and I have no idea why you love me so much/
and all I have been seeking is an honest touch/
so if I awake in this place that has brought me pain/
and see the faces of those who have hurt me throughout this day/
hold me close in my spirit/
it's only because of you God that I am here today...

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