Self planted kisses....

Self planted kisses on my soul

I look in the mirror every morning and say Hello Blu...what shall we do today? What will we create? What greatness will we allow to come through our spirits and manifest in our reality? What are we going to do....

Why do I say we....

Because I am nothing without my creator. I am nothing without my resource. I am nothing without God. I have nothing without God. There is nothing without God...God is Allah.....all to me and everything that I am and all I will ever be.

Daily, I strive to live in the perfected spirit of my higher self. I fight the demons of depression, doubt,, insecurity, lust, greed, anger, and all those things that aren't of God. I can only live in my higher self because I have become aware of the ability to exist above circumstances and situations that can cripple our hearts, conflict with our faith, and shadow our hope....

I am thankful to God for the lessons of 2011. I am thankful for the growing pains of life because with each scar, I see Allah's healing power. With each ache, I see Allah's soothing nature, and with each bump on my head, I see Allah's grace and mercy.....

Be encouraged and be blessed....

Peace & Love
~ X Blu Rayne...Mz. Spoken Word

Copyright © 2011 X Blu Rayne All Rights Reserved

Black sheep.....

I grew up thinking I was the black sheep because my mother like them more than she liked me...probably because of my daddy


I know so many multiple fatherless homes....meaning mom has children with different fathers. Each father coming with it's own experience and own pain. Mom is doing her best to make things workout and there is struggle...especially when one man won't help with his, but the other does...

I will say if you are a mother and treating your children differently based on the men you chose to lay with, you are dead wrong and are undeserving of those blessings in your life. Truthfully, mothers do this even if things are good and the children have one father....let one child look like him more than the others or be the only man child....it's like the hatred from the failure of the relationship has no end...

Then you wonder why you have no peace, you wonder why your children have turned on you, you wonder why your home is in disarray....you are the one that controls that energy in your house. If you create such an atmosphere, expect the reward for your actions....

We all have issues, problems, and things we must work through, but you have to make a daily decision to be better and work towards it when you are responsble for another soul. I believe there are some people who should not have children. I believe some women would destroy the child's spiritual nature...then you have some that mother a neighborhood and the block thanks her.....

If you have been that mom that has played favorites, you should be ashamed. If you hate you son because he is the only boy and reminds you of your ex...you choose his father. If one father pays his support and the other doesn't...that isn't the child fault...stop saying that they are like their sorry daddy...how are you so comfortable speaking against their creator....


Peace &  Love
~ X Blu Rayne...Mz. Spoken Word


Copyright © 2011 X Blu Rayne All Rights Reserved

Love is in the air.....

As a single mom, I have found it interesting when it has come to being open to love. After moving past the rumors that having children makes you unattractive, I have spent the last year loving some me. What I have found is that others love some me too. It's like I make people love me who are around me because I love me so much....

So what does that mean for me when it comes to the potential of a relationship...that I am ready. I implore all of my beautiful single mothers who feel like there are no options....1. There are plenty 2. They aren't thugs 3. There are some amazing men out there and one is waiting on you....

Stop listening to the lies of the single with no one to love but themselves. Those who us spiritual enlightenment and solitude as a cover for their own lack of understanding as to why they attract who they do. You are a representation of the universal purpose of life and hope. You are the nurturers of this planet and are needed to birth the beauty of not only yourself and your children, but a very special man who is preparing himself for you....

So ladies, this is your song...this is your year...write your own tune...dance in the rain...celebrate life...lift your spirits...you are designed to love and meant to be loved.....

Time to embrace it....keep being good to you and the good for you will come....and it will be unstoppable....:-)

Peace & Love
~ X Blu Rayne...Mz. Spoken Word

Copyright © 2011 X Blu Rayne All Rights Reserved

SPOKEN T's first poetic t shirt by X Blu Rayne

This is X Blu Rayne first t-shirt with one of her never spoken or published poems until now. This shirt is designed to uplifting the spirits and hearts of the women of this world.  This will be one of many designs from this multifaceted artist and graphic designer.




CLICK HERE FOR PURCHASE.....

I am here...

Hollowed spirit/
empty being/
there is no life I am seeking/
I find comfort in the darkness/
fear this is what they have taught us/
but I sense a bliss/
no pain or hurt/
just empty spirit/
blades start to look like welcome mats/
38 looks like a good number/
and high rises look like an opportunity to fly for 3 seconds before my demise/
and I love to hear people say you have so much to live for/
all lies/
you want me to stay here where love is wrong and no one is trying to be right/
you want me to stay here where the strong perish and the weak prevail/
you want me to stay here where being black means living in a place that is the neighbor of hell/
you want me to stay here/
where being a thug has more prestige than being a father with a degree/
you want me to stay here where children are killed by the same women that birthed them/
women who are loved by the same men that hurt them/
you want me to stay here where the my blood from previous times cries out to me for justice and I have none to bring/
you want me to stay here/where every tear that I shed goes unnoticed/
where this pain is so deep I can't focus/
you want me to stay here/where I look at my children's face and can no longer give them the promise of a better day/
you want me to stay here/
you want me to stay here/
because every morning you give me a sunrise freely/
and you have answered me every time I have fallen on my knees/
you want me to stay here cause you have work for me to do/
and this pain you expect me to work through/
I am so tired of crying/
so tired of this feeling of desiring dying/
so I tell you what/
if tomorrow I wake up and see a sunrise/
I promise to try/
cause right now/
you are the only person that has yet to lie/
and I have no idea why you love me so much/
and all I have been seeking is an honest touch/
so if I awake in this place that has brought me pain/
and see the faces of those who have hurt me throughout this day/
hold me close in my spirit/
it's only because of you God that I am here today...

Copyright © 2011 X Blu Rayne All Rights Reserved

Rise sista.....rise

Energy is neither destroyed nor created, but transferred from one play to another- Two Can Play That Game-the movie

So in this movie Vivica A. Fox is the main interest and finds out her boyfriend Morris Chestnut has lied and is keeping company with a client. She then does a series of things to get him back and teach him a lesson and almost losing the relationship in the end.

The biggest thing for me, is the need to stoop yourself so low to become this manipulative creature in order to get a desired end. How about just telling him how you feel and ask what's up? We can't though can we ladies...why...because his boys and the options he keeps around. The minute you act a certain way...they are on the prowl...hating and speaking against you and he is listening. Being in any kind of emotional state is wrong, having feeling is wrong, hell it's almost like saying that being a woman is wrong......

Wrong...being a woman is amazing. Being able to connect with God on a level envied by male leaders from the Bible too modern day....women are the natural nutures. You do have tanint specimens who time and their own actions have left them in a state of depseration and destruction. I am speaking to the sister in the sisterhood of love and peace. Who see what ails the world and want to heal it. Who sees what ails the man she loves and wants to heal him. Stay in the beauty of the purity of your womanhood.

Some of you may find that the man in your life is tripping hard. Thoughtless deeds, insensitive actions, and just plan out making the worst decisions knowing they will hurt you. Normally you can try to talk it through, but he is being helped...trust when I say that a female somewhere is invlved...if this is out of charater. Don't play games...if he falls for the okie doke...maybe you need to step away.

We are going into an undefined year. Even the Mayans left it open for us to decide on how we want things to go. It's is an ending of allowing things to distract us. It is an ending of the thinking of society of inferirioty of blacks and women. It is an ending of the booty hoe type thinking that continues to fuel the daughters of Eve....It is the time for the rise of the universal energy of the universal woman....

Rise my sisters...rise.....so that the beauty of the men can rise with you. Don't worry about the actions of others...be accountable for you....

Peace & Love
~Cynthia Jowers aka X Blu Rayne...Mz. Spoken Word

Copyright © 2011 X Blu Rayne All Rights Reserved

Conversations with Black Millionaire Entrepeuneur

"New Book “Conversations with Black Millionaire Entrepreneurs” featuring interviews with Cathy Hughes of Radio One Inc., Les Brown, Andrew Morrison founder of Small Business Camp, Randal Pinkett the Winner of the Apprentice, Ephren Taylor, the youngest African American CEO of a publicly traded company, Dennis Kimbro author of Think and Grow Rich: A Black Choice, and George Fraser, author of Success Runs in our Race and Black America’s #1 Networkers hare insights and lessons to being successful Black Millionaire Entrepreneurs."


CLICK LINK BELOW:
Conversations with Black Millionaire Entrepeuneur

I want to cry

I want to cry
Eyes dry
Sorrow applied
Me Oh my
I want to cry
Let my tears water my angry words
Hurt feelings
Allowing them to grow and blossom to destroy there creator
I want to cry
Because I am hurt
Loving someone who saw part of my worth
I want to cry
Like they do in them reunion shows
Cause Lord knows
I don't want him to go
I want to cry
Like a new baby
And be nestled in his arms
Maybe....
Maybe I shouldn't have let go
Yes you should
No I shouldn't
Did you tell him how you felt
Yes, but he told you with you he wouldn't
Shit
Now I want to cry
But why
Why cry over spilled milk
Or dreams he never intended to fulfill
Or over a man that is just doing what he wants and what he will
Why cry over something lost like trash in a landfill
I think I want to try
Try not giving myself over to the bad feelings
And think of the better things
I was willing to give him my life
But now I can start living
For me
completely
The only person that deserves my tears
is me....

~ X Blu Rayne...Mz. Spoken Word

Copyright © 2011 X Blu Rayne All Rights Reserved

Stupid Girl

My ink is stopped for the night
My heart hurts right now
I can't write...
Stupid girl...don't cry
Never let tears of pain be the reason why
Never let him see you cry
Be strong is what we tell ourselves
Dayum all memories to hell
I will not fuss or yell
I will no curse or tell
Of this pain that is sitting in my chest
My own fault I must confess
Loving someone who sees you as loveless
But will drop your pants or lift your dress
Why do we get mad and upset
When we sign on the dotted line of this contract
This unspoken agreement of nothing needed
Except late night calls and occasional flings
My ink
Has stopped flowing
This poem is cracked and tears I am sowing
Stupid little girl stop acting like you didn't know
You the one that became a voluntary hoe
So in tears you now sow
From accepting such a low blow to your ego
Anger words flow
Because love has left the building
Embarrassed s it's replacement
Your smile will now be a facelift
To mask the hurt you are feeling
Stupid girl...stop feeling

~ X Blu Rayne...Mz. Spoken Word

Copyright © 2011 X Blu Rayne All Rights Reserved

My man....

I no longer say I want a good man 
it's plenty of those. 
I want 
a Builder who is not afraid to work with his hands
a Lover who is not afraid to show his heart 
a Doctor who knows what ails me and how to heal me
a Baker who bring home the bread
a Candlestick maker that lights my fire
an Optometrist that see me clearly
a Sargent that gives orders for the beast of the unit
and a Poet who can write God on paper

...that is my man.....

~ X Blu Rayne...Mz. Spoken Word

Copyright © 2011 X Blu Rayne All Rights Reserved

It's a new dawn...I feel a change.....

It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life for me....I feel a change....

Ever wake up and feel like something is different? You surroundings could be the same, but the appearence of things and the affect of people are not what they were? The happened to me this morning...

I feel a change....

I am not sure what has happened in the last 24 in my life, but I will say the uncertainty no longer scares me. If one doors closes another door will open, if one man won't appreciate me, I need to slow my butt down and appreciate myself first, and if I am having financial difficulties...I need a budget....

See what I mean, everything is the same except my thinking, which will affect my habits, which will affect my progression. Sometimes all it takes is an awakening to get you to "see" better......

WAKE UP PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!

Don't wait until the New Year starts to see things brand new. Start today. Don't carry anything dead into 2012...you should be living. All of this starts with you, your thinking, your confessions, your spiritual diet.....it is all on you....aint that wonderful. Because now....every one else is powerless in determining who you are and how you decide to be......

It's a new dawn, it's a new day, it's a new life fo all of us....I feel a .......

CHANGE......

Peace & Love
~Cynthia Jowers aka X Blu Rayne...Mz. Spoken Word

Copyright © 2011 X Blu Rayne All Rights Reserved

Silence the internal drama beast....

‎"Drama in not an outside incident, but a manifestation of a inward phenomenon. No person of peace can have drama."

If you are finding no peace in your life, it is because you have not call peace within yourself. Look at your house...the inside of it...not the neat yard or the presentation ready front room...look at your cabniets, basement, that closet that never gets clean....those are place of chaos and disorder in your home reflecting areas of disorder in your life.

We can be spit shine ready at a moments notice for the public eye, but what are we refusing to clean up, clean out, and through away in our spiritual closets....let's get rid of the clutter shall we.....

The first step is identifying your own mess. Take responsibility for the Boogie monsters you have created, the smells that turn your stomach because areas have been ignored and not cleaned, the broken things and unfinished task....yep...take them all out and look at them....now start going through it one by one....

Here is the good thing, you determine when these things need to be done, but in the end they need to be done. You deserve a life of peace, love, joy, and happiness...but it first must come from within.

YOU CAN DO IT!!!!!! I BELIEVE IN YOU!!!!!! GOD BELIEVES IN YOU!!!!!! and truthfully.....the REAL YOU BELIEVES IN YOU!!!!!!!!!

I might stay here for the next few days and expound on helping you clean out your closet to reveal the spiritual you within...the real you.....that amazing person the world is waiting on to see and shine....

Give me some feedback and let me know if you want to talk about it. I think it's time I stop being selfish and give myself over to who I really am...I need your help to do it...tell you what...let's do it together.

Peace & Love 
~Cynthia Jowers aka X Blu Rayne...Mz. Spoken Word 
Copyright © 2011 X Blu Rayne All Rights Reserved

Protect your man's heart.....

How can you call him king, but you speak against his dreams.....

It is funny thing to hear women moan and groan about the inadequacies of the men they have had in their lives. How he doesn't do what he use to do. I am not saying that men who cheat are right or that what it took to get her he needs to continue to keep her, but what I am saying is that more women need to look in the mirror. If you have found yourself being a woman who has made a joke, spoke against, or in any way challenged the validity of his dream.....he may still be there, but you just ended your relationship....

It may not be fair, he may want to build a motorcycle that flies, hell or want to rebuild the Grand Canyon out of cheese....whatever the case may be, remember that you thought that was cute and even sexy. You loved that he was a dreamer, but now you expect him to change....you are foul for that one. There has to be a balance in all things, but you want to give your man away, tell him what he is passionate about is invalid, say he is failing as a provider, tell someone else that you think he is less of a man and see what happens....You are better off saying he has a little penis on Facebook than that.....

A man's job is to protect his family, but a woman job is to protect her man's heart. You, as the woman he loves, has the unique ability to determine his days and nights, his belief in himself, and he validity as a man......don't do him wrong...or he will find one that does him right....

Peace & Love
~Cynthia Jowers aka X Blu Rayne...Mz. Spoken Word 


Copyright © 2011 X Blu Rayne All Rights Reserved

I tried.....

I tried...I really did

I love when I say that to excuse my inability to complete a task. Oh man do I have a habit of bsing,..lol. I'll say I will do something "in a minute" and it will be a week or two. I will say I'll call you back, and won't. It is a trait that I have that has done nothing for my growth and productivity. A trait that I was excusing until now.....

Hi, my name is Cynthia and I have an issue with being of my word. I have the best intentions, but do not give due diligence to those things that I have the ability to control. I excuse them while allowing my frustration to be given over to uncontrollable issues and expect you to take my bs.....

Do I have any fellow bsing individuals out there....of course I do, but until you can face it, confront it, accept it, and be prepared to deal with it.....you can't change it. There is power in admitting your areas of growth because then you are actually working the ground, clearing the weeds, and giving the sun and rain the ability to refresh and revive the soul of your spirit to promote the growth that is need for you to live in the spirit of excellence. There is work, your hands will get dirty, sometimes the stench of it will stay with you for a minute, but the minute you start to see the bud of the tree, then the tree reaching to the heavens, and the bearing of the fruit...you will be able to rep the rewards of the due diligence of your actions...and the world will thank you......

Have a great Sunday family....lety's grow together....

Peace & Love
~Cynthia Jowers aka X Blu Rayne...Mz. Spoken Word 

Copyright © 2011 X Blu Rayne All Rights Reserved

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Be the God you speak of....

The Jesus in me, loves the Jesus in you.....so easy to love

I grew up in church under the leadership of different pastors and this theme was consistent in the mouths of every Christian I encountered. There were other statements like "Love your neighbor as yourself" and "You will know them by their love".....

The funny thing is, and even in history, some of the most horrible crimes were committed under the religion. From the Salem Witch trials to the Holocaust, well meaning Christians were murdering people under the name of Christ and God......
Fast forward to now and you have the double standards and the emphasis of hell...I am not sure at times, what some Christians believe...that is until they commit a sin, then they know every scripture in the Bible that excuses their actions. But when it comes to gays, lesbians, people strung out on drugs, prostitution, pimping, stealing, lying, and cheating...these people may be shunned, done away with, publicly humiliated and told hell is their home. Funny thing though, when it hits home....you can here a pen drop.

Now my peeps...are those who love God...period. That value humanity, spirituality, and the belief that we all need each other. I can't call these people Christians because they are accepting of more than the Bible as the final draft of God's intention for the world as we know it. They see meaning in the sunrises and sunsets. They see promise in the well suited man as well as the pierced up "freak". They see kindness in those who sexual preference may conflict with a fundamental thought they may have, but yet embrace them in love....there is a scripture that says man looks on the outward appearance but God looks at the heart...since we don't know the heart of man....I am guessing this whole judgmental energy should probably be on a downward slope....

So to all my downlow pastors that preach hell and damnation to your own people, to all my musicians that are not paying child support because the state can't tax nonforprofit income, to all my ushers who is sleeping with the pastor and his wife, to all my deacons who are molesting their family members, and to all those cross wearing socialites that have no idea what real crucifixion is like.....I ask that you think for a moment of what is you reason for being bold enough to use the essence of purity of God's love for financial and social gain. And how do you expect to escape the very sermons you minister to eloquently. To quote one of the greatest women of all time...Beyonce said it best...."what goes around comes back around, my baby." If you send love...you get love....I feel for what some are about to receive.

I love you all and pray that you have a relationship with God that moves you in kindness, compassion and love....cause that is the true spirit of who we are.....

Peace & Love
~ X Blu Rayne

Copyright © 2011 X Blu Rayne All Rights Reserved

Listen to X Blu Rayne

Click on the link below to hear everything I have out right now. Some of my tracks have music, actually most do because I am a music lover.....feel free to purchase my new CD UR INTERPRETATION: The Evolution of Blu today!!!!!!!  Thank you.....xblurayne.bandcamp.com

Tears for peace

I mourn for those children
Who never experience the love their mothers should have for them
When God places a life in your womb to reside
The soluiton of ending any pain should never be suicide
I understand the feeling of hopelessness and regret
But your child have not gotten to grow up yet
Don't take a life that has promise and purpose
God allowed you to make it
He is with you so you can take it
So I pray that this reaches a mother like Rahcelle Grimmer
Who sees no hope when she looks in the mirror
There is more than hope there is joy in your life
Look at your children in their eyes
They are evidence that there is living for you all to do
Don't stop looking for the help that you need to make it through
Cry when you must
Scream when needed
But you will never be defeated
Unless you concede
Looks at them babies
They possess the joy you need
When you forget to believe
Unto you I speak blessings and peace

Copyright © 2011 X Blu Rayne All Rights Reserved

King of mine

When he says I love you
I want to believe him
When he says I want you
I want to be able to receive him
Hesitation on my part 
Because there is a list of them
Asking for his attention
And it gets mentioned
That they get it
At times
So I never ask
Where is mine
Cause if I'm not worth the search
Then he doesn't deserve the find
Not looking for the king of the world
Just want a king that is mine...

Copyright © 2011 X Blu Rayne All Rights Reserved

~ X Blu Rayne...Mz. Spoken Word

He makes me feel like....

He makes me feel easy like the breeze, lovely, free, and me.......

As I think more on past relationships, I realize that the biggest element missing is me feeling like I am the only one that sights are on. I know many men measure love by what they do with regards to bill paying, being in the same room, and even sex. That, from my perspective, has nothing to do with love. It even diminishes more in value when you give that quality time to others, especially women who you know are trying to be with you and have no shame in expressing such. I had one incident where an ex would get a call from their's for their special time with them and they would get it...no second thought. Of course I was told it was nothing on his end, but I don't think he got what that made me think as a woman....all it equated to was that I wasn't special. I wasn't important enough to give that time to me...that previous reservations had still some value. But I was most important because he was there.

Position has nothing to do with validity of a relationship. If you are giving of yourself to people in your life to the degree as though you are single, you will leave a door open in your relationship. The person will be unfilled and possible entertain another's company because it's okay as long as you aren't having sex right? I might sound selfish, but if I am going to be with someone, I want to be the only woman he wants to give his quality time to outside of his family members, and even they have a short space...:-)

I want to be able to sit and think of him and smile...even if he is a million miles away. Just knowing that he loves me is comfort enough. There is nothing in love that is perfect because we as the players are flawed, and I know that that man did very much love me...I guess for me, it was a matter of knowing that he was still available to so many others...

I guess I am saying...I want to feel special. That might be my princess in me coming out, but if he can make every other woman feel that way...can he really be mine? If his spirit is so open that others can feel it, if he gives them time in late nights and early mornings....does that just make me one of the many....the thought here is no one wants to be a part of the crowd when they are suppose to be the one.....you feel me....just watch how you treat people and the messages you send in relationships. If you are giving her/him the basics and not the essentials...they will get them elsewhere.....don't be the 20%......

Peace & Love
~X Bly Rayne

Let's dance......

LADIES.....do something beaufutiul for yourself today...everytime you look in the mirror...give yourself a kiss...aint not nutha chick on your caliber...you are a unique creation with an amazin purpose....get out your microphone brushes and curling irons and get your boogie on before work.....

Peace & Love to all my sistas
~X Blu Rayne

R.est I.n O.ur H.earts....Lisa Lopez aka Left Eye

From my heart to yours....

Ok...so this one is really personal, but I believe in order to really reach your heart, I have to speak from my own. I really don't speak in detail of my relationships because I value the privacy and intimacy of it, but here it goes.....

*let us pray*

I am single. It is hard to say that considering I have been in relationships for years constantly...like the last 17 years to be exact. I have had some form of something with someone for a period of time. I have to say I have met the best of the best, and the worst of the worst, but I have always never spent time with me. I was being the good "wifey" and really, that was it. They received all the rights and privileges of husband and never had to make any commitment to me at all. Dang...I was so desperate no to be alone that I settled for being lonely with someone...

I was running down a path that was going no where in slow motion. It looked like the constant message was I wasn't good enough, I had too many issues, I was a mistake....it always was my fault. And it was my fault because I didn't care enough about myself to love myself and not let myself be subjected to less than what I deserved. I just didn't know I deserved better. I mean really, beside Claire Huxtable, name a woman in the media that has been treated right by a man....better yet...name 10 in your life that you know of.....I pray you can because I can't.

I love me...six kids and four fathers one miscarriage later....I love me....65 lbs lighter and no prospects I love me...Daily investing in my dreams I love me....lonely nights and sexless days I love me.....See I have learned to love me enough to wait on me to be that of how I see myself. I have my picture and everyday I look at her and tell her...I am coming. I am making the steps daily to be that picture that the universe has shown me is who I am in the perfected love og God....in my spirit. We are so amazing that we have to study ourselves to be who we are designed to be, and the first step is not allowing ourselves to intertwine with people who weren't meant to be with us.....Some of the people who have slept with was never meant to touch you. And yet you find yourself continuing to behave in a negative way even if they just have a female friend. He ain't yours, cause if he was...you'd be with him.......

So I am taking care to take care of Cynthia. I am not allowing any energy into my life that is going to cause harm or determent. If you are not genuine in progressing, please don't expect me to link to you. There was a time when I was unlinkable, and some people that I have respected I am finding are in that place with me.

Take care to take care of you.....I hope I didn't ramble too much....

Peace & Love
~X Blu Rayne
Copyright © 2011 X Blu Rayne All Rights Reserved