Last night I talked to God in the snow
yes it was cold,
but my spirit felt bold
because I was not alone.
I started asking Him to show me His plan for my life
He replayed all of my misery and strife
I asked where are the good times
are they found in my rhymes
He told me to look down and I saw my reflection
He said you my child are my greatest perfection
I told Him no...I can't be I have lied and wanted to kill.
He said, but when you come to me on your knees you keep it real
I said but look at me six kids, four baby daddie's can't keep a man
God smiled at me and said I overstand
but this is my plan for you....this isn't about what you want
but what I have designed for you.
I said, but God how can my life have any real meaning
Is there really any depth to me
I try to get people to see me for who I really am
but find out they won't accept me
God then sat down in the snow
looked at me with wonder
He asked, do you remember what they did to your brother
I remembered before time even came
that my son would be slain
by the people I formed
like I knew you would be born
He told me being chosen is not a mistake
I chose X Blu Rayne because what is at stake
The people of this world that I chose to create
not for amusement but purpose
because when I see you I see me
and all of you are worth it
He stood up and walked over to me
told me that it breaks His heart to see me in pain
That is why He promised to put me back together again
it breaks it heart to see me played like a toy
That is why He promised me if I sow in tears, I will reap in joy
it breaks His heart that no man has declared me his good thing
That is why He promised me not just a husband, but a soulmate a King.
it breaks His heart when my faith is depleting
That is why He promised to answer the door when I am knocking and seeking
As I sit and write this piece I have tears in my eyes
because the hurt in my heart is still very much alive
but I understand that pain is evidence of living
and sometimes it will hurt, but I have to keep on giving.
Because this is calling on my life is my cross to bare
and my testimony of God's love I have to share
I don't do this for applause or standing ovation
This is my testimony, my snow salvation.
Copyright © 2010 X Blu Rayne All Rights Reserved
